Friday, February 25, 2011

Delhi - The male species ultimate stronghold?

Was browsing through TOI when I came across an article which left me pretty much aghast.

Parental intrusion ruining couples' marital life: Delhi high court

I know delhi is considered to be the land of hot blooded Panjus and the Jats from Haryana - I'm sorry if this sounds bigoted, but having been raised in Delhi, I think I can say this with fair amount of accuracy.. one keeps hearing of honour killings that emmanate from the North.. you see the practice of women's names being changed once they get married and enter their home and begin their new life - but all of these are events that are driven by individuals (hopefuly)and not by dictat of law...

So it came as a big shock to see the Delhi High Court judgement that blatantly overlooks the role a boy's family may play in a marriage being rocky and lays blame for all parental interference ta the girls' parents door! It would appear that any any interference from the girls' parents may rock the boat while clearly the esteemed Court feels that parental influence / interference from the boys' parents(which is way way more common)either does not exist or is benign! lol!

I know delhi is the ultimate male bastion but the High Courts too? And a High Court judge? Simply underlines the need for more women judges to man the bench..

Sure any parental interference can be detrimental to the stability of a marriage, but its rather harsh to expect the girl's parents to abandon her post marriage - this is carrying the new name , new life after marriage paradigm a tad too far! They are her family, her support system and is it wrong to expect her to fall back on them? Dure sometimes their interference may be unwarranted but I can take an educated guess that the in-laws interefernce in the girl's marital bliss is way more often and way more destructive in far more cases the her parents'..

So what is the high Court advocating? If you've had the luck to have a girl, forget that she existed the moment she's married. She is like a commodity, once sold, you have no claims or right on her?

"Parents should not become uninvited judges of problems of their daughter, become an obstacle in the daughter's married life, plant thoughts in her mind and gain control over her and promote disharmony in her family life, the judge said"

I completely empathise and agree with the first part of the judgement, my quarrel is that it should apply to parents from both sides.. and it needs to realise that sometimes, we can all do with a little bit of help....